Duty-free Dubai

my first love

It was so much more than what I thought I needed: from the Emirates flight to the Waldorf Astoria luxury hotel (Bentley included, although we found this out too late to book a ride; we're losers, I know) and from the Burj Khalifa to the Gold Souk. And to think, it all started and ended with some duty-free Champagne - the real expensive kind.

Upon arrival in Dubai, Passport Control man point-blank asked me, "You live in Kuwait?" "Yes, for work." "Are you looking to relocate *winky face*?" I'm pretty sure he was flirting with me. Truth be told, I almost took him up on the offer but not because he was cute, as he most certainly was not. Read on, friend or frenemy (your choice). Being away from my can't-not-be-dusty flat is why my post might read like a "Things to do in Dubai, especially when you've been in Kuwait basically since August" guide book. Prepare for a lot of bragging. Oh! Not from me, but from Dubai.

Day 1

I like to lead with this fact as it shall evoke sympathy from you: I had food poisoning from airplane food. I wish it had just been a hang-over, but when I almost projectile vomited on others in our tour group I was sure it was more than Champagne. Plus, Champagne would never treat me that way.

Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque, Abu Dhabi

Again, I'm not the one bragging: our tour guide wouldn't shut up about how this mosque is the second most visited place on Earth (Brag 1) after the Eiffel Tower according to #TripAdvisor. Dubious, but if the measure is #TripAdvisor, I take responsibility for making this possible as I have taken to collecting badges for no apparent reason other than personal gratification. The mosque's architecture includes 82 domes, white marble surfaces with exquisite, radiant floral designs, the world’s largest hand-knotted carpet (Brag 2) - 5,700 square meters: 70% wool, 30% cotton - handcrafted by over 1,200 artisans, seven chandeliers, all include glass panels studded with Swarovski crystal, including one of the world's largest in a mosque (Brag 3) weighing approximately 12 tons, and reflective pools to generate a soft breeze to cool the space. It is simply breathtaking.

Burj Khalifa

Being in a real city was refreshing, and with great power comes great responsibility: find the highest point and take selfies. Naturally, Rosie led the way to the tallest building and free-standing structure (these are different?) in the world (Brag 4): 160+ stories, 828+ meters, highest occupied floor (Brag 5), highest outdoor observation deck on floor 148 (Brag 6), elevator with the longest travel distance (Brag 7), tallest service elevator (Brag 8), "and other measurements as well." This modern marvel lived up to the hype and even served coffee, tea, and snackies on our VIP tour to the 148th floor. What an incredible way to remind myself that there is life outside of Salmiya. Next time I'll go back during the day to see the vast expanse of the city, but the night lights were captivating.

Sidenote: Kuwait could have real, real cities, too. The financial resources are there, the populous is in dire need of entertainment venues in a mixed-used, downtown, urban environment, and businesses could air-condition or use misters like good ol' Arizona has figured out.

Day 2

SoHo Garden & White Nightclub

Rosie reminds me that my clubbin' days ain't over yet. But like, they really are. My temporary Bumble account even alerted potential gentlemen that my bedtime is 20:30 on school nights, but probably similar on the weekends because I like routines and predictability. I grudgingly agreed to this 20-something frivolity because it's Dubai so it must be posh. SoHo Garden is a collection of a mini-clubs designed to entertain all, similar to The Yard in Phoenix. They had the best music (Brag 9) I've heard in ages to accompany the fresh watermelon shisha.

Then this happened at the entrance to White, the most exclusive nightclub in the Middle East (Brag 10), so I knew it would be "Bizaar" night.

sums up my feeling about clubs

Day 3

Cruise around the Dubai Marina

As per usual, I had to prepare Rosie for her photo shoot. I'm smoothing out her pants, Haleigh.

World's Longest Urban Zip-line (Brag 11)

Let's start with how I surprisingly didn't die on the 80km/hour XLine across the Dubai Marina after being coerced into this aerial feat. It's the second to last tourist activity I partook in, and it was the one most likely to end my existence even after the sickness. Also, this was the only one that posed any real threat from its inherent risk. My #TripAdvisor review title restates this experience descriptively: "Didn't die sooo..." I mean, I was the last one to commit, but next time I'll be the first to descend gracefully 170m from some random building for about 1km. The ground crew was as supportive and positive about my life continuing as the flight crew was about my legs staying straight in my harness. Apparently the fetal position was not an option. I felt safe as I - er, my gear - was checked out at least four times for my 40-second (I know, finally a measurement you understand) ride. People cheered me on from the Five Guys below. That's actually reward enough.

Gold & Spice Souk

Too much like the souks in Kuwait (No Brags jkjk) to spend much time there, but they're worth the stop over before the airport especially if you need to finish consuming your Champagne because you were sick.

Waldorf Astoria Hotel

Deserves a huge shout out. From the first minute we entered the lobby it felt like America welcoming adrift Christmas revelers. I'm fairly certain that I was quoted and paid the wrong price for the luxury accommodations that awaited us. This hotel was too good to be true. Dubai, you pompous, cocksure creature, you are my new hero.