Moses & Mosaics

Welcome to Mount Nebo, Jordan where Moses saw the Promised Land... I totally get it.

Rosie (of course I was with this starlet) and I were not on any specific pilgrimage, and our driver was really enthusiastic so we deferred to him for our preliminary pit stops. The first of which was the hump of Mount Nebo, land claimed by Moses. It is lovely, but what you can't tell from a basic description like that is that it was also cold. Another vacation to a supposedly warm locale and here we are wind-swept, bundled in our coats. I present to you the basis of my evidence for climate change.

Eternal Life

We weren’t really sightseeing so much as being sequentially coerced by our hotel-appointed, teenager-girl-Tiger-beatesque-obsessed driver into making what felt like random stops at historic and cultural landmarks on our way to the Dead Sea. One of these stops was at a mosaic factory. Takeaway: I didn't know that mosaics were "native" to Jordan. I have seen the friezes in Greece, and I thought they originated there. Shrug. To be fair, the fortuitous detours brought us to many Judeo-Christian sites that I had forgotten from my adolescent KFC (Kids for Christ) activities. Now, it seems I have become the prodigal daughter and returned to my roots (albeit thanks to a Brittney Spears fan).

The Dead Sea

Yup, there's Israel, home of Wonder Woman Gal Gadot

So no one explicitly told me, "don't drink the water," and, yes, I realize the warning is implied, but your gurl definitely took a swig. Whoops. Bad idea. Reverse! I nearly spewed my two glasses of champagne from our hotel lounge straight into the sea like a grimy kid who ate too many carnival corn dogs and rode Wipeout. Regardless, of how it tasted, floating on the sea was one of the most unearthly experiences of my life. I couldn't turn myself over without instantly being righted, yet I incessantly rolled around like a Shiba Inu in the wild Japanese brush. It was so quiet as everyone seemed to be similarly bewildered and mesmerized. Looking across the serene water seeing Israel and knowing that some countries and people refer to it as "Occupied Palestine" gave me pause to remember how lucky I have been to be raised in a diverse, inclusive community that participates in the initiatives and aims of the United Nations. This reflection isn't to say that I agree with all UN doctrine or fully comprehend the backdoor dealings and hard-fought negotiations or compromises of world leaders, but I do know that many an ethnic group has suffered at the hands of tyranny. Creating the state of Israel is no different than the creation of other nations as a result of disunity or controversy - talking to you South Sudan ... and, welp, sorry folks for another social studies teacher stump. This is what reverie does to a perspicacious woman.

Petra

You might be surprised to hear me admit that I didn't actually know anything about the Nabatean Kingdom before I picked up gal-pal Judith's hand-me-down English language all-access guide to Petra. What kind of world history teacher am I?! Ashamed and crestfallen, apparently. Doesn't help that during quarterly school conferences a simpering dad (but who cares because it wasn't even Hot Dad?) told me that I am a social sciences teacher and should know *everything*. Yup, that's true. I should run to the nearest library with alacrity and read up; but I won't because I have an indispensable and very tardy blog to complete right ... meow. My own initial lack of relevant Google-fu aside, this visit was truly stunning.

The day spent at Petra was near equivalent to hiking Flatiron in Arizona: lots and lots of walking while feeling as though you're not making progress, downtrodden soul-searching and generally trying to figure out why you agreed to this dusty, windy time-suck of a day until BOOM: the view. *cue epic beam of light and trumpets*

I was Rafiki and Simba in symbiosis with nature lifting myself over the masses for a view of my kingdom. I had earned my place as queen, dammit, after that beast of a hike past the Treasury (yes, it is just as Indiana Jones portrays but with camels - not horses, Katie Hansen - and too many couples riding around on said camels in a circle posing for touristy kissy-face photos) to the High Place of Sacrifice trusting the man in the yellow vest with a camera as though he was our tour guide. The reward for the hunger pangs surfacing after our "only" option for a breakfast stop was at a roadside shack - obviously swindled by our hired car as the pattern of impromptu stops continued into Day 2.

Amman & City Dwelling

My expectations might have been a little high for Rainbow Street, but we still enjoyed our lengthy walk uphill through a menagerie of pet stores teeming with bird squawks and cat litter. Of course there was coffee, super-healthy-kill-your-hangover juice bars and an abundance of sweets, but nothing could compare to our brunch at Shams El Balad. You can be sure Tripadvisor heard about it: beetroot falafel and beet pita bread. I didn't know these heavenly creations existed with beets as the main ingredient. Uh, of course it pairs perfectly with champagne, why are you even asking? I’m sure that bumptious dad guy knows what else you can use beets for...

Finale

Lesson learned about Jordan: stay for five days or so and camp (or glamp) in the desert at Wadi Rum. It will make the monotonous desert drive feel less I-10 W Avondale to Blythe and more This is Where Monotheistic Religion Comes From, and you'll thank me because it's the one reason I might go back to Jordan in the fall.

P.S.

Yes, there are Roman ruins with an ageless Amman in the background.