If only it could all be Greek to me

Why can't I just enjoy myself like a normal human?

Reflecting on why these posts are taking so long after returning from vacation even with my copious notes, I am accepting that teaching in Kuwait isn't really my style. Traveling, though, might be my raison d'être pro tem. Especially when travel equals sampling wine around the world with my super cool friends.

A bit of context for my dismay: the Athenians fought off 15 different potential conquerors throughout history, and I can't even get through one post about a monumental destination. (See what I did there?)

Sigh. Okay, fine, I'll start ... Fancy pants Rick Steves, who, by the way, wasn't very nice to me when we met at a book signing, said in one of his podcasts that, "just because it's 'B.C.' doesn't mean that it needs to 'be seen'." Clever, but I respectfully disagree. I tried to see it ALL in the birthplace of democracy. In some regards, I did, with the helpful planning of our Greece Lightning WhatsApp group. Shoutouts to multiple brains.

Rick Steves Audio Europe

Booking a walking tour of Athens (my idea) just hours after arriving at our hostel City Circus (Jordan's idea) solidified my goal. When visiting Athens you can see almost everything in one day, especially if you just walk. And, you did read that right - hostel not hotel. I didn't expect how much I would enjoy the communal breakfast, café culture, and happy hours selecting local wines and time spent with my travel companions at Zampanó in anything less than a Hilton, but yes, there, I said it…hossssssstel.

There's really only one way, possibly lazy, to document the beauty of Greece. Here are the day 1 highlights through photography. Pictured: human friends, Athenian Agora (hey Alyse!! During the 1920s the Rockefeller Foundation funded the archaeological excavation that led to the site's preservation), neighborhood scenes, view of the Temple of Hephaestus (the best preserved Greek temple), Herodes Theatre, THE ACROPOLIS, Temple of Athena Nike, Theatre of Dionysus, me having to pee from drinking too much wine.

If nothing I have ever said before felt important enough to commit to memory (talking to you former AP students) please, please, I implore you to make note of the following. You've probably heard of the 1994 Billboard # 1 New Age Album (9.3/10 on IMDb) Yanni: Live at the Acropolis? You know, the recording of the Greek composer and keyboardist's 1993 concert in Herodes Theatre that sold over seven million copies worldwide? No? Well, timeout for how 1990s rico suave Yanni was, and how I recognize his music from my mom's CD on long drives to track meets. What better to prepare for the high jump than a six-piece band and London's Royal Philharmonic Orchestra serenading you? Buttttt, I have a better idea: replace Yanni with wine. Yes, "Wine at the Acropolis." That's it. That's the whole event. The theme is wine and you just show up to drink. Yammas.

Disclaimer: I might have been drunk when I came up with this idea. Rosie seconded it, and if you saw her photo shoot at the Acropolis you'd know why she agreed wholeheartedly.

With that important PSA out of the way, we meandered the streets for the next few days on self-guided tours and a visit to the Acropolis Museum mixed in with other adventure time. This exploration led us to free shots of homemade tsipouro or ouzo(?) with Elvis aficionado and divulger of life lessons Nikos Georgas, also for the bonus points: winner of Greece Got Talent 2010. "Some people are very diplomatic. I'm very truthful because then good things happen." Granted he said this while negotiating jewelry prices with Rosie, but I think it speaks to the notion that culturally Greeks are exceptionally welcoming and interested in everyone having a good time.

Example of helpful Greeks: here you see women acting in a supporting role (shocking) in a man's world: the original maidens, Caryatids on the Erechtheion at the Acropolis Museum. Notice, the columns are not symmetrical, but everyone is working toward to the same end. As in life, nothing needs to be perfect, and there is beauty in imperfection. Look at me getting all philosophical like Socrates.

Speaking of, here is founder of Western philosophy Socrates' jail cell where he was held until he was forced to drink hemlock in 399 BCE for his crime of corrupting the young men of Athens. Good thing this type of punishment isn't used anymore. *winky face* Kidding. I was only there for a few days. There wasn't enough time. Also kidding. I don't go after the young ones anyway.

I didn't think I would be so impressed by the Temple of Olympian Zeus, but it is awe inspiring that it still stands with such beautiful Corinthian columns. Well, except for that one... It's interesting though, because the damaged column has been left untouched almost like it's there to humanize the history for the modern tourist to experience the antiquity first hand.

After the band broke up, Shenile and I had some alone time to explore so I drug (not drugged) her out of town to visit Cape Sounio and the Temple of Poseidon. Trident-dude must have been in a mood that day. We might have been blown off the cliff if we hadn't eaten so much meze style over the past few days. Maybe Poseidon is still pissed that the Greeks chose Athena’s gift of olives over his salty offer of the sea? That wind was howling like a thousand angry harpies coming to escort us to Hades.

I loved Santorini in the winter when it drizzles.

our front porch view

Yea for off-season travel! Deserving of its own post, but, in addition to being lazy, I got sick and had to use a "sick day" for an actual sickness - stupid - so I didn't get to writing two separate posts.

JK Park told me that I should never visit Santorini alone: too romantic, too many photogenic streets made for lovers' embraces, too many well-poured glasses of wine for couples to savor overlooking sun-kissed cliffs. Whatever, we didn't have to fight tourists for the best coffee shop or resting post. Also, good thing Shenile has a pretty serious relationship or she might have gotten herself into a precarious sunset photo shoot in my sweetheart squeeze. Fun fact: What keeps Santorini so pristine and quaint is that to secure a building permit for a new hotel, home or perhaps a winery one must submit paperwork for the erection of a church. This has led to the construction of over 600 churches, of which I think we saw 573.

Also, lucky us as the hillsides were green and lush; take that sun-baked summer browns. We booked an ebike tour to see the Black Beach and almost circumnavigate the island. Something about having a motor to power the bike uphill to a an old castle frequented by pirates motivated me to trust a dreadlocked guide from mainland Greece referred to as an "immigrant" or "stranger" by the Santorinians even in my consistent state of drunkenness. [You may have been drunk when writing that sentence. -Tim, Ed.] We visited the Venetsanos Winery (We actually went here twice so I had to drink Shenile's wine flight twice) and then proceeded to bike downhill. I maaaaay have used the wall as a support maybe once or twice to balance. No one saw my DUI experience but my girl.

I did have one burning question for Dreadlocks: why on Earth do historians say that Greeks watered down their wine? Who ... does ... that? I guess the correct phrase is to "put a little water in your wine" which I took to meant selfishly tricking someone out of something for a profit. Dimitris said it actually means that two people have to come back to share more wine and find a solution to some problem together. His explanation makes so much more sense when I've been drinking.

Again, Airbnb Experiences for the win! Shenile and I had a very romantic tomato experience on our food & wine tour at Anydro Farm with our lovely host Ana and her sister. I found out that Shenile can cook by watching her and drinking wine, naturally. For lunch we had tomato paste, sun dried tomatoes, tomato salad and sweet tomatoes as a side dish proving that they're both a fruit and a vegetable. Crisis averted.

Since we were their first tourists for the season I hope we left a good impression because wow, Greece, you did a number on me.

Thank you to all who contributed photos to this blog. We were so lucky to have Jordan there to document the estrogen-filled, Instagrammable posts. Shenile, however, captured my favorite one here:

I bled out in the Agora, nbd.