Kuwaiti Q&A ver. 3.0

Suzanne Nicole
Feb 8, 2019
4 min read

And we're back to our regularly scheduled programming. It's pretty much re-runs so you can totally make a turkey club sandwich on a commercial break and not hustle back to the tv.

Q: What do you do all day?

(submitted by: everyone who attended my "Oh hi there, Suzy" pretend party at The Yard in January)

A: Not a whole lot. I used to have my fingers in all sizes of different pots and be over-scheduled which is probably the cause of failed relationships if we're being honest, but I was in a relationship with work because I LOVED it. I truly, madly, deeply loved going to work almost every day. I would spitfire my resume to anyone who doubted my capabilities because all I did was chase opportunities to grow professionally even when I could have been relaxing. Again, probably a relationship killer. Right now my resume looks about the same as it did in May 2018.

Seriously, my day pretty much consists of work, working out, eating, drinking coffee at some point, and sleeping. It's perfect. I have taken up being a fitness-y person, and I write this blog. I didn't make time for these types of activities before. It's marvelous.

In my loneliness and boredom I have taken up a Pilates program: PIIT28 to the sheer joy of Shenile who introduced me to Blogilates and Roise who I've been dragging to the gym with me. I never like to solicit my friends, but if you like what you see, and you're interested in following in my footsteps, I applied to be a brand ambassador. Click my links if you're into it so I get credit and my life once again will have meaning and purpose:

PIIT28 1.0 - a good place to start getting ready for the summer
The 28 Day Reset - why I am grumpy because I have no sugar in my diet, but because I am eating so super healthy, I am sleeping better and some guy at the gym said I "look not so tired"
Vegan The 28 Day Reset - food for vegans
PIIT28 Power Pack (PIIT28 1.0, 2.0, & 3.0) - workouts to get me ready for Thailand, or just bikini season
Transformation Pack (PIIT28 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 and the 28 Day Reset) - where I started because as Tracey espouses, "go big or go home"
Vegan Transformation Pack (PIIT28 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 and the 28 Day Reset) - again, if you're disciplined enough to be a vegan go you!

Q: How long do you really want to do this? I mean, don't you miss America?

(submitted by: Andrea "Move to the 'Burbs" Bartlett)

A: Depends, man. Like, duh I miss America, but have you watched the news lately? I want no part of it. I sporadically catch an update on the facebook or from other expats, but it's not really a part of my day-to-day. Here is what I do really miss: a dual kitchen sink/dishwasher, central heating (yeah, it's cold in Kuwait right now), carpet, absorbent paper towels from the Brawny lumberjack, owning a car, ...sidewalks. Eyes on the prize: tax-free income means student loans will be paid off by August instead of 2020-something. Also, if you missed it, I've been able to cheaply travel the world lately. You can't put a price on my happiness, but for an annual income of 75,805 KD I'll be your trophy wife.

Q: Can you find ground turkey or turkey bacon?

(submitted by: me, actually... I really need help here)

A: Pending...at least there is gelato:

Look closely: these are places I have lived & Phoenix is spelled wrong

Q: What the hell is a "Dettol" wipe?

(submitted by: a flight attendant on my JFK to PHX leg)

A: I asked an unassuming flight attendant for a Dettol wipe to clean my tray-table knowing that I should have said "Clorox" (because that would have made sense) just to see her reaction. Yup, confuddled. But, for your reference, these handi-wipes are made in the Kingdom of Bahrain, and I just took a closer look to see that there is a sword in the label. Manly and tough. Cool. "Alcohol Free." Shocking. They're used for napkins for hands, cleaner for desks and front boards as paper towels (they're not even close to the same consistency), and dusters. One more check mark on the "...the fuck, Kuwait?" list. Just have regular napkins, bleach, EXPO spray-cleaner and Swiffer products instead of impersonating cleaning supplies.

Bonus hygiene fun: Here is a sample of strange private parts products for your delight:

Q: Did our school really let a bunch of sequestered middle school girls watch Aquaman?

(submitted by: Carin Atkins, aka da Queen)

A: Yes; they did. I spent most of the time yelling, "that's a vocabulary word", "example of CAWATCI", "simile" or "theme" to keep it educational. They didn't get it. They clapped for the bad guys a couple of times because they weren't sure which fish-person was which; yeah, couldn't tell 'em apart. Mind you, this behavior is from children who leave things like this on my desk for me to find after class: