Just in case you were wondering … (but this one isn’t really about Kuwait)

Maybe it’s time to talk about why I chose to leave a school district with leadership that did nothing short of set my entire professional trajectory in forward motion. If I had been a monsoon, I would have conquered and ruined west Phoenix like the incident of September 8, 2014.

(for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4Ka0ItrqNA & note the newscasters’ disbelief at rainfall)

Maybe it’s time to address the stinging shame inside that I’m passing off as pluck. I’m really surviving on adrenaline and conviction.

Yeah, okay, so let’s do it. I’ll be the arsonist. Let me investigate my fire.

My newly minted advisor/comrade/man bun crush asked me candidly, “What’s a 30-something [how polite, sir] with 10 years of teaching experience doing in Kuwait? Everyone here is a little crazy. What’s your crazy?” Uhhh, do we work tomorrow because do I have a story for you? If you already know me, you might be able to gloss over the details and save yourself enough time to heat up that pizza pocket before you leave 13 minutes late for work. Talking to you, Annie.

As my backdrop for this self-examination I’m planted in a handsome coffee shop that rivals Lux or Fair Trade Café back home. The charm should make the pain of sputtering my existence easier, yet it’s only making writing this post somewhat less disconcerting.

To start, I might have done a few things wrong in my twenties:

• traveled and shopped lavishly above my means

• dated a few questionable specimens

• found myself engaged to a mostly human being for a short enough time that I consider it an affair to forget

• lived in too many different apartments to remember my “last address”

• listened to artists whose music contrasts so widely that my YouTube playlists bellow an angry girl, burn-it-down Beyoncé ballad after a Broods barcarolle

• generally refrained from telling my mama what I’d been up to for fear of questions about my sanity or stability

This is not to say that I didn’t “accomplish” so very much in my pedagogical world because I’ve been #beyondblessed. Yet, a representative of the Arizona Board of Regents once cynically called me schizophrenic. The more I reflect on my personal and professional life I lean towards “strongly agree.” How dare I have such professional success and feel like much of my private life has been a serious of unfortunate mishaps?

My blunders became evident and truly acknowledged when I was stopped in my tracks after being left by a man of dubious character and falling quite quickly into the arms of a man who was perfectly disruptive to my persnickety, scheduled life. That episode worked out as well as my geography jokes with my Grade 6s.

(What do geographers grow in their gardens? Compass roses!) (crickets)

Naturally, I had to make a change. As a rule, when evaluating my options, I always fast-forward to the worst-case scenario, e.g., this is how all my *best* party planning materializes. So, I ask myself: “Where is the farthest physical location away from the valley on planet Earth?” My geography might be off, but Kuwait is still pretty damn far. Yes, let’s go there!

So what of my professional success; why would I cut ties a second time with a district that ultimately supported my every decision? I was basically a spoiled teenager who was never told "no," that’s why.

Exhibit A:

“You want to host an event showcasing a Holocaust survivor for basically the entire sophomore World History contingent?”

“Yup.”

“Fill out these forms.”

Exhibit B:

“You want to bring a Civil War Reenactor with his pawn-shop military paraphernalia into your classroom in a zero-tolerance environment?”

“Yup”

“Ms. Hazel will walk him to your room.”

Exhibit C (kinda):

“You want to take students to China? No, Suzanne. That’s where we draw the line: too much communism.”

“Fine. I’ll just go with my mom and Bec. Screw you guys.”

You see my point? Why would I leave an establishment that backed my ideas for interactive and engaging social studies lessons? Bluntly, because I was bored. That’s so disrespectful, I know, but what else was I to do? My fingers were in plump pies across various school initiatives, state-wide organizations, university projects, and my own interests. School was my day-to-day, but my heart was pursuing my next big project. What the nuts is it, though?

My intimate circle gets it, supports my “crazy” and has been completely rational through my unreasonable, irreverent, impetuous, and otherwise incorrigible decisions.

Hiiiii, Kuwait. This is me trying to become an asset and not a liability before I have kids and a jet ski. This is me fixing myself as an adult who understands I can’t have everything that I want. Readers, you all rock for being there in all the obvious ways, but more importantly in unspoken style. Hey – so, no pressure the next time I call hysterically needing perspective about something insignificant, right?